Universal Momisms
By
Russ Pearson
Last week’s column had to do with the history of Mother’s Day. In researching that subject, I came across a number of witty sayings, many of which my Mother and Grandmothers were fond of saying, depending on the circumstances.
I could not help but wonder from where they got these sayings? Were they some kind of universal, esoteric language handed down from one generation of mothers to the next? On second thought, perhaps they were learned in some special course taken only by women during their high school or college years.
Not only had I heard these jewels from the mouth of my Mother, but from the mother’s of friends, especially on those rare occasions when we erred in judgment. Then it occurred to me, many readers might also have heard some of these same expressions. They are a treasure trove of common sense. Here is a list compiled from sources found on Google...see if any of them sound familiar to you:
Money does not grow on trees.
Don't make that face; it could freeze in that position.
If I talked to my mother like you talk to me....
Be careful or you'll put your eye out.
What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you jump too?
You have enough dirt behind your ears to grow a garden!
Close that door! Were you born in a barn?
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything.
Don't put that in your mouth; you don't know where it's been!
Be careful what you wish for, it might come true.
Don't eat that, it’ll stunt your growth.
If you don't eat those, you’ll stunt your growth.
Whatever happens is meant to be.
It doesn't matter what you accomplish, I'll always be proud of you.
I hope when you grow up, you will have kids "Just Like you"!
Because I'm your mother that's why.
This is why we can't have nice things.
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.
Eat your vegetables, think of all those starving children in China/Africa.
If you fall out of that tree and break you leg, don't come crying to me.
"Cheer up, the worst is yet to come." (Standby for punishment).
Someday your face is going to stick like that.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Yes, I *AM* the boss of you.
Because I said so!
Just wait till your father gets home.
No dessert till you clean your plate.
I brought you into this world and I can take you OUT !!
I have eyes in the back of my head, that's how.
Get that thing out of your mouth! (or nose).
Just you wait until you have kids of your own - then you'll understand.
You tell that bully to cut it out or you'll tell the teacher.
I slave for hours over a hot stove and this is the thanks I get?
Honestly...You would lose your head if it wasn't screwed on!
Honestly, that sweater looks great on you - the girls/boys had better watch out with you around!
Do you belive everything you read?
Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
So, guess who will end up walking, bathing and feeding it...?
Always change your underwear; you never know when you'll have an accident and have to go to the hospital.
Stop doing that or you’ll go blind.
Ah yes our mothers...Bless their hearts...What would we do without them? I for one wouldn’t be here except for mine... how about you?
Ciao for now...see you next week here in The Record of Wilkes
By
Russ Pearson
Last week’s column had to do with the history of Mother’s Day. In researching that subject, I came across a number of witty sayings, many of which my Mother and Grandmothers were fond of saying, depending on the circumstances.
I could not help but wonder from where they got these sayings? Were they some kind of universal, esoteric language handed down from one generation of mothers to the next? On second thought, perhaps they were learned in some special course taken only by women during their high school or college years.
Not only had I heard these jewels from the mouth of my Mother, but from the mother’s of friends, especially on those rare occasions when we erred in judgment. Then it occurred to me, many readers might also have heard some of these same expressions. They are a treasure trove of common sense. Here is a list compiled from sources found on Google...see if any of them sound familiar to you:
Money does not grow on trees.
Don't make that face; it could freeze in that position.
If I talked to my mother like you talk to me....
Be careful or you'll put your eye out.
What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you jump too?
You have enough dirt behind your ears to grow a garden!
Close that door! Were you born in a barn?
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything.
Don't put that in your mouth; you don't know where it's been!
Be careful what you wish for, it might come true.
Don't eat that, it’ll stunt your growth.
If you don't eat those, you’ll stunt your growth.
Whatever happens is meant to be.
It doesn't matter what you accomplish, I'll always be proud of you.
I hope when you grow up, you will have kids "Just Like you"!
Because I'm your mother that's why.
This is why we can't have nice things.
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.
Eat your vegetables, think of all those starving children in China/Africa.
If you fall out of that tree and break you leg, don't come crying to me.
"Cheer up, the worst is yet to come." (Standby for punishment).
Someday your face is going to stick like that.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Yes, I *AM* the boss of you.
Because I said so!
Just wait till your father gets home.
No dessert till you clean your plate.
I brought you into this world and I can take you OUT !!
I have eyes in the back of my head, that's how.
Get that thing out of your mouth! (or nose).
Just you wait until you have kids of your own - then you'll understand.
You tell that bully to cut it out or you'll tell the teacher.
I slave for hours over a hot stove and this is the thanks I get?
Honestly...You would lose your head if it wasn't screwed on!
Honestly, that sweater looks great on you - the girls/boys had better watch out with you around!
Do you belive everything you read?
Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
So, guess who will end up walking, bathing and feeding it...?
Always change your underwear; you never know when you'll have an accident and have to go to the hospital.
Stop doing that or you’ll go blind.
Ah yes our mothers...Bless their hearts...What would we do without them? I for one wouldn’t be here except for mine... how about you?
Ciao for now...see you next week here in The Record of Wilkes
Hi, l have a question.. are you the guy who ejected underwater? Found this incredible story in the net and shared with my aviation friends.
http://www.ejectionsite.com/eunderh2o.htm
Best regards, Enrique
Posted by: Er Broens | 05/19/2011 at 10:27 AM
Er,
You found me...LOL... that is in fact my story and it is all true...Thanx for tracking me down. I am retired now and living in the mountains of North Carolina...don't fly anymore though...Best regards, Russ Pearson, CDR USN (Ret)
Posted by: Russ Pearson | 05/19/2011 at 11:12 AM
Amazing! great to meet you! I am a IT guy in Brazil and have a long time interest in aviation and particulary flying r/c jets.
We live in great times where the technology makes possible to share extraordinary life experiences. Now your blog has a new follower! (aviation related posts and memories welcome too).
All the best, Enrique R Broens.
Posted by: Er Broens | 05/19/2011 at 02:19 PM